BEAMER UBER ALLES
Without fail, every time I see someone driving like a complete and utter asshole they're piloting a BMW.
Now- I'm not saying EVERYONE who drives a BMW is an asshole. All I'm saying is that it seems to me, after many years of strict scrutiny and careful observation, like they mostly all DRIVE like assholes. They could be perfectly wonderful people on a one-on-one, non-wheeled basis. But when put in a driver's seat, the positraction German engineering takes over their reason center and coerces them into treating the road and all other drivers on it like their own personal shit rag.
Maybe it's like that movie Christine, y'know- the Stephen King classic about the possessed car that treats the road and all other drivers on it like its bitch?
Maybe its like that.
Or maybe it runs deeper...
Without fail, every time I see someone driving like a complete and utter asshole they're piloting a BMW.
Now- I'm not saying EVERYONE who drives a BMW is an asshole. All I'm saying is that it seems to me, after many years of strict scrutiny and careful observation, like they mostly all DRIVE like assholes. They could be perfectly wonderful people on a one-on-one, non-wheeled basis. But when put in a driver's seat, the positraction German engineering takes over their reason center and coerces them into treating the road and all other drivers on it like their own personal shit rag.
Maybe it's like that movie Christine, y'know- the Stephen King classic about the possessed car that treats the road and all other drivers on it like its bitch?
Maybe its like that.
Or maybe it runs deeper...
posted by Pete Klockau at 5:41 PM
1 Comments:
As a partly-blooded German, I know that the Germans try to take over the world approximately every 40 years or so. We are a bit overdue for a horrific failure of organization, but just wait until we unveil the sausage-powered beamer. The exhaust fumes will smell so good, you won't even see the shiny grill barreling down on you. Environmentally conscious and sleek genocide.
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