A PACK A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR IN PAY

I'm not some uptight pain in the ass about smoking. I think smoking is wonderful, actually, health hazzards and all.

I don't smoke often, but when I do- it is thoroughly enjoyed. Every smoky, faintly chemically intake is a wonderful little break from life while simultaneously trimming a bit off the end.

I am, however, in thorough awe of people who smoke like there's no tomorrow as though their favorite daily indulgence were running 10 miles and eating a bunch of kale. It is pretty well established at this point that cigarettes aren't GOOD for you, but neither is refined sugar, alcohol, caffine, or fried cheese. And yet all those things are magically delicious in small doses. Or large doses, if that's the way you choose to kill yourself slowly over time.

Reacting as though smoking is something you're entitled to and just gotta do in the ol' day-to-day is as weird as when I watched a special about the fattest man in the world- coming in at OVER a ton- who's filling up most of a hospital room complaining about being deprived of cheeseburgers and fries, even though it takes a team of six able bodied men to roll him off his bed pan long enough to change it before the next massive evacuation.

If you are an enormous fat pile of flesh and don't give a shit, awesome. It you are an enormous tub and don't give a shit AND are fully open and admitting of the fact that you will probably die young due to years of abusing yourself and yet you continue to do the same? Even better. You get a thumbs up from me, friend.

Same goes for smoking. If you want to smoke a carton a day- please have at it. It's your life: do whatever the hell you want so long as it isn't fucking up somebody else's life. If you can admit it's not a harmless little habit, you're up there even higher- keep on climbing!

Fact is, I'm an overweight occasional smoker who drinks a lot and loves red meat. I know I'm not exactly living the health nut life. And I'm fine with that- because I know I'm not going to be here forever, and what few pleasures this modern world has to offer me I will happily take part in.

But to think I'm ENTITLED to my vices?

I think not.