WITNESSED TUESDAY APRIL 7, 2009
Yes, that's right.
A man with his wife at the drug store announcing to God and everybody that he's opting to buy napkins in lieu of toilet paper.
Just buy napkins instead of toilet paper! It's all trees!
In fact, just use newspapers, paper plates, typing paper, labels from old canned goods, or rolls of receipt tape. Who gives a shit?! In fact, fuck paper- leaves are free! Just use those!
Keep a shrub in your bathroom- it can be your ass-wiping shrub! That would work great! Actually- naw. Then you gotta water it and stuff.
I did have to fight the urge, however, to ask which room he'd be keeping them in.
The whole walk home I was imagining the guy gnawing on a big drippy plate of hot wings, running to his toilet every couple minutes to get a fresh napkin.
Actually, this guy probably eats hot wings while ON the toilet. Y'know... cuz it's easier.
Actually he and his wife probably both eat hot wings on the toilet. Possibly at the same time.
Yes, that's right.
A man with his wife at the drug store announcing to God and everybody that he's opting to buy napkins in lieu of toilet paper.
Just buy napkins instead of toilet paper! It's all trees!
In fact, just use newspapers, paper plates, typing paper, labels from old canned goods, or rolls of receipt tape. Who gives a shit?! In fact, fuck paper- leaves are free! Just use those!
Keep a shrub in your bathroom- it can be your ass-wiping shrub! That would work great! Actually- naw. Then you gotta water it and stuff.
I did have to fight the urge, however, to ask which room he'd be keeping them in.
The whole walk home I was imagining the guy gnawing on a big drippy plate of hot wings, running to his toilet every couple minutes to get a fresh napkin.
Actually, this guy probably eats hot wings while ON the toilet. Y'know... cuz it's easier.
Actually he and his wife probably both eat hot wings on the toilet. Possibly at the same time.
posted by Pete Klockau at 9:27 PM
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