THE EYES HAVE IT

Walk into any kind of "Eye Care Pavillion," "Vision Quest" or "Sight Shanty" and you'd think everybody who wears glasses is a chiseled, hunky man-stud or lithe, beautiful model.

As a lifelong glasses-wearer, I can personally attest that the vast majority of people who wear glasses and don't have contacts either (A.)have eyes so screwed they can't wear contacts, or (B.) don't give a shit and just wear glasses because contacts are a pain in the ass.

But upon entering Eyeball Town or whateverthefuck to get some prescription sunglasses made (I am, above all else, a sun child my friends...), I noticed that there among the glasses-sporting Branjolinas deep in ruminative thought was one lone poster with a satisfied looking old fart on it.

Now there's accuracy- that's a company that knows their audience. That's a company I can comfortably support with my hard-earned fistful of warm, wadded-up dollar bills I'll be forking over to pay for the fact that God has screwed me on both my vision and hair genes.