INTERNAL DAMNATION

I know when I walk into a room full of near-strangers and face a table full of clear alcohol that I'm in for a night of severely punishing my internal organs to a level of near-masochistic splendor.

My best friend's bachelor party was at his older brother's house. He has two brothers, and I knew both of them in the capacity one can know someone ten years older than themselves when they're 8. So- I remember them mostly as guys who would trudge through the house, "hey" their parents and leave again.

Fast forward, oh, 20 years, and now we're all playing ball on the same field. But a very sizeable part of my better judgment wondered what it would be like seeing and carousing with my friend's relatives who remember me as a nerdy, chunky eight year old. What will happen now that I'm a nerdy, chunky almost-30 year old?

It's good to know time has a tendency to iron out the wrinkles and put everybody at roughly the same level. What's UNfortunate, is being a career steady drinker who can comfortably put away most of a fifth of whiskey throughout the course of a day without so much as a hiccup stuck drinking with folks who mostly socially lubricate themselves in a binge-manner, with shots and beers and tequila and schnapps and open lack of judgment.

I wanna say I've been drunker. I don't honestly remember.

What I do remember is being more hung over than I've been in 5+ years.

But it was a proper send off, so the projectile vomiting and 9+ hours of daytime sleep were theoretically worth it.