DON'T FUCK WITH THE ELDERLY...

Back in my day, old ladies said things like "Oh my stars", "Heaven's to Betsy" and "Oh, for land's sake." What does "oh for land's sake" mean? I have no fucking idea. But it was old lady friendly, and that was that.

In my feeble, young, Game Boy-addled brain, I just assumed that old ladies were unaware of the horrors taking place in the outside world- drug addiction, murder, teenage pregnancy, the Maury show. But now that I'm older, I know that old ladies went through all that same stuff, just differently. If you came up in the 40's, that didn't mean there wasn't murder or rape or what-have-you corporate fuckery, it just meant that it was murder and rape that took place in the 40's as opposed to the "new millennium" balls-in-your-face version of the same thing. When it comes down to it, people can only do something so horrible before a person is dead or scarred for life(granted they can do the same horrible thing repeatedly.) The palette of unspeakable horrors hasn't expanded, it's just that people are more cavalier about it now. If someone was murdered in the 30's, it was a big deal. Now you're libel to hear a news report to the tune of:

"A man was found beaten to death, raped, dismembered, defecated upon, and thrown in a dumpster today. After the break, Mary's here with gardening tips!"

Which somehow makes it seem like being beaten, raped, dismembered, shat on and left in a dumpster is somehow at least tangentially related to gardening tips, which are nice.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.

My point is that at some point, everybody's an old lady (or dude) so all those crazy free-lovin' hippies will be old, the bikers and bitches and pill poppers and partiers and coke snorters and vodka bar-elite will all be old, too. And at the end of the day, there they are, sitting on a park bench with their groceries from the drug store, waiting for a bus. Then I hear the above phrase, and think, "gee- old people are different nowadays."

I can't recall hearing an old person call another person "uptight," or mention eye-stabbings as a child.

Yes, I'm in the city. But, regardless...you gotta watch them old folks. Why, they're libel to stab you in the eyes for looking at 'em.