THE INNOCENCE OF YOUTH

There's a very good chance the up-and-coming generation is thoroughly and utterly screwed.

I'm not talking about what's been done to the environment, the economy, or any myriad number of other things that are hopelessly and unequivocally fubar at the moment.

No- they might not be able to, y'know, communicate properly, take care of themselves, learn, or clothe themselves without becoming frustrated with the point of it all.

Really, the total and utter dependency on technological bric-a-brac that we've developed might be seriously fucking people up.

How would neurologists and scientists really know what the true consequences are from an entire birth-to-grave lifetime of internet, cell phones, I-Pod's and all the other techno bullshit we stuff into our ears and eyes? They can guess is all. Because only after there is an entire generation of bleary eyed, unmotivated mutants walking the earth can they say that something is a FACT.

The trouble with science is that, generally, things have to go wrong a whole bunch before it knows whether or not something can be called a fact. Does coffee cause cancer? I dunno- hey focus group: you're gonna drink a whole lot of coffee for 30 or 40 years, and then we'll see when you're old and fragile if you start spraying blood from your body's many orifices. Says focus group, "A lifetime's supply of coffee and a sawbuck? Where do I sign up!"

I realize several things:

1.) In 5 or 10 years, saying things like "these kids today with their DSL inter-net, cellular telephones and I-Pod Nanos- they haven't got a clue!" will sound as ridiculous as someone saying "These kids with their game boys and Sega Genesis and Tamagachi's" or "These kids with their type writer ribbons, flapper dresses and auto mobiles." I expect, possibly, 10 people to read this ever, so it doesn't really matter.

2.) Every person thinks these things about the up-and-coming generation; every generation thinks the one behind it is a bunch of worthless, drooling idiots who will lay claim to the end of the world simply by being sheer and unabashed morons.

But when I hear things like the above pictured coming out of an actual human being's mouth, without a shred of irony, three blocks away from the school they've just left, I think that there might be something to it this time around.

Of course- we've managed to jack the planet bad enough it might not matter anyway.

Fiery apocalypse here we come!

When's "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here" on anyway? The pizza-blasted microwaveable corn dogs are getting cold.